CAN CHRISTIANS DIVORCE?

 

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, AND REMARRIAGE         

 

INTRODUCTION:  Of all man’s institutions marriage must be classified as the most important.  Marriage is the foundation of the family.    Marriage has come under ever increasing assault in recent years.  Today, statistically speaking, only about half of all marriages in the United States will last.  Those who divorce and remarry are at even greater risk of suffering another marital failure.  The latest assault on marriage is the abomination of the successful attempts by some lawmakers to legalize the union of members of the same sex by permitting them to marry.  With marriage being demeaned as just a “piece of paper” by a large segment of the young adults of our culture, it is not surprising that the defense of marriage is an uphill fight.  Many of our fellow citizens will openly “live in sin” without any sense of shame.  Divorce, same sex unions, open marriages, and common law marriages have weakened the institution.  However, God’s word still states that marriage is the union of a man and a woman “until death do us part.”  It being God Who originated marriage, and commanded that the bonds of matrimony should not be dissolved by lesser authority than Himself, we do well to honor marriage; affording it the highest respect and sanctity:  Mt 19:6, “…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

 

1.  MARRIAGE. 

     A.  It’s origin.  It was God that ordained marriage in the beginning:  Genesis 2:18, 24-25 “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:  she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:  and they shall be one flesh.” 

      B.  It’s Purpose.  That marriage is intended as the union of one man and one woman is evident in these passages.  Jesus also endorsed marriage as the union of a man and a woman in Matthew 19:5-6.  

            (1)  Marriage unites.  No other institution so unites its participants as marriage.  Two people unite into one common set of goals:  ambitions, procreation, support, achievement, etc.    

      C.  It’s Spiritual Significance.  Since marriage was ordained by God it should not come as a surprise that His relationship with Israel, His chosen people, be symbolized by marriage in Ezekiel 16 (He compared Jerusalem to a newborn babe cast out of the womb to die in the open field.  But God having mercy upon her, took her up, cleansed, clothed, and adorned her.  As Jerusalem grew and matured into a beautiful “woman” He took her as His wife.  In keeping with the symbolism of marriage, when Jerusalem turned to idolatry, God likened her idolatry to adultery.), and that His church also be described in marital terms:  2 Corinthians 11:2, “…for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”;  Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it…”; Revelation 19:9, “…Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb…”; and Rev. 21:2, 9-10, “And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband…And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will show thee the bride, the Lamb’s wife.”  All the saints of God living in new Jerusalem make up the body of Christ, also known as the bride of the Lamb.

      D.   Biblical Teachings On Marriage.

             (1)  It is honorable:  Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:  but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

             (2)  It is to be desired:  Gen. 2:18, “…It is not good that man should be alone…”;  Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”;  1 Cor 7:2, 8-9 “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband…I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.  But, if they cannot contain (be chaste), let them marry:  for it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).”

             (3)  It is for life:  Romans 7:2, “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.”; and 1 Cor 7:39, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”

 

2. DIVORCE.  Jesus was presented with the question of divorce by the Pharisees in Mt 19:3:  “The Pharisees also came unto Him, tempting Him, and saying unto Him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”  Jesus knew that they were tempting Him in an effort to catch Him at His words.  He took them to the scriptures.  There are so many good causes for people to separate:  violence, lack of support, mental cruelty, criminal activity, financial irresponsibility, and the list goes on.  However, our sole and all inclusive rule of faith is the Bible.  Jesus took them to the Word:  Mt 19:4-9, “And He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife:  and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.  They say unto Him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives:  but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:  and whoso marrieth her which is put away (for fornication) doth commit adultery.”  Scripture says in Malachi 2:15-16, “…take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away…”  If God hates it, we should be very loathe to practice it!

       A.  Allowable Divorce.  

             (1)  Abuse, Crime, and Non-Support.  The law allows divorce because due to the hardness of men’s hearts there are problems of abuse, criminal activity, etc. that makes honoring the marriage vows difficult beyond human endurance.  Under normal circumstances the marriage covenant is not to be broken to allow one marriage partner to leave for a new mate.  Divorce under the aforementioned extreme circumstances shall be left to the conscience of the offended party.  However, remarriage may not be permissible under scriptural guidelines (see para 3, REMARRIAGE).

            (2)  Fornication (Mt 19:9)

            (3)  Desertion (1 Cor. 7:15, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.  A brother of a sister is not under bondage (the law of marriage) in such cases:  but God hath called us to peace.”)

        B.  Disallowable Divorce.

              (1)  Between Christians (1 Cor 7:10-11, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:  But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband:  and let not the husband put away his wife.”)  If a Christian family is fractured by a separation, reconciling or remaining unmarried are the only two recourses.

              (2)  Mixed Marriages.  Often a believer will either marry an unbeliever, or an unbelieving couple may experience the conversion of one or the other.  In such cases, if the unbeliever is pleased to remain with the believer, the believer, though at odds spiritually with his/her spouse shall not leave them.  Their sanctified lives may serve to win their unbelieving mate (1 Cor 7:12-14).

 

3.  REMARRIAGE.  Most people who divorce will remarry.  Is this the unpardonable sin?  Do they live in a continuous state of adultery?  No, to both questions.  But, the real question is:  is there true repentance if divorce and remarriage was premeditated?   Sin is present in every divorce.  One or both parties commit sin when divorcing.  Jesus, Himself, taught that it is permissible to divorce in the case of fornication.  So the offended party would not be sinning by divorcing the offender.  However, when is a divorcee free to remarry without the consequence of sin? 

      A.  Permissible remarriage.  Once free from the law of the marriage covenant by the act of fornication on the part of an offending spouse the innocent party is free to remarry (Mt 19:9a).  When abandoned by the other marriage partner (1 Cor. 7:15).  

      B.  Non permissible remarriage. However, in the case of the fornicator, anyone marrying them commits adultery (Mt 19:9b).  Working out our salvation in fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), let’s not tempt God by premeditating to sin, thinking that, afterwards, we shall make it right with God.  Only “godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation” (2 Cor. 7:10).  Having said that, if you, or someone you know, have been the guilty party in a divorce, and have remarried, you have not committed an unpardonable offense.  God will forgive the truly repentant.  

      C.  Marriage and Divorce Entanglements Prior to Salvation.  Honor the circumstances in which you find yourself:  1 Cor. 7:24, 27-28, “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God…Art thou bound unto a wife?  Seek not to be loosed.  Art thou loosed from a wife?  Seek not a wife.  But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned…”  New converts with unbelieving spouses should not divorce them.  New converts who are single because of a divorce prior to being saved are free to marry without committing sin (but only in the Lord; verse 39).

 

CONCLUSION:  Marriage requires lots of work, self-sacrifice, and patience.  Because it is a covenant between man, woman, and God, and is intended by God to last until death separates them, men and women must not think that divorce is an option.  God hates divorce.  However, if you have suffered the pain of divorce, God not only forgives, but He heals.  There are cases where remarriage is permissible.  If you have been blessed to find happiness in a second marriage – God bless you.      

CAN YOU LOSE YOUR SALVATION?

 

SALVATION:  FORFEITABLE OR NOT?

 

 

INTRODUCTION: Salvation is a gift. Salvation cannot be earned. As a gift of God’s grace; not of man’s works (Ephesians 2:9), can salvation be forfeited? The answer to this question is complicated; if it weren’t, there would not be such division over the doctrine within the body of Christ. Sincere believers on both sides of the issue are resolute in their positions. The Bible instructs every believer to be “fully persuaded in his own mind” (Romans 14:5). If we are going to take a certain position; especially one so prominent, we should know how to explain our beliefs, don’t you think? Perhaps the first thing that should be addressed is the subject of grace. What, exactly, is grace? Strong’s Greek Dictionary of the New Testament defines grace as, “the divine influence upon the heart, and it’s reflection in the life”. We often hear grace defined simply as “God’s unmerited favor”. Either way, it obviously originates with God. Bearing that in mind, God’s Word shall be our rule for determining the extent to which God’s grace is applied to our lives. The following study shall examine salvation as an act of confession, as a matter for contention, and as a goal for completion.

 

1. SALVATION: AN ACT OF CONFESSION. The first thing for us to understand is that salvation comes by way of a heart felt confession. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise” (Psalm 51:17). The psalmist earlier declared that God “saveth such as be of a contrite spirit” (Ps 34:18). God does not honor lip service. Merely speaking a religious string of regrets and apologies does not access the realm of grace from where the gift of salvation proceeds. Paul advises us in Romans 10:9, “That, if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” John recorded these words of Jesus, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). It is the things of the heart that God considers. So, can a man, out of the sincerity of his heart, make confession unto salvation (Rom 10:10) and at some future time in his life decide to turn back? And if he can turn back: (Hebrews 10:38 “...if any man draw back, My soul shall have no pleasure in him.”), has he forfeited his salvation? Was his confession all inclusive; covering every sin of the past and of the future? Romans 3:23 - 25 clarifies our standing with the Lord concerning our sinful pasts “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in His blood, to declare His righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God...”, but there is no mention of future transgressions. John addresses these for the Christian in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” That this verse is written for the Christian who sins; as we so commonly continue to do, is apparent by his statement in chapter 2, verse one - “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” He obviously is not addressing sinners because it is expected that sinners will sin. But, if a Christian sins, we have an advocate. If we discontinue in fellowship with Christ and cease confessing our sins can we fall from grace?

 

2. SALVATION: A MATTER FOR CONTENTION. Paul told the Galatians that they were in danger of falling from grace by their dependence on the law: “Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace” (Galatians 5:4.) By grace we are saved, yet the very nature of our calling demands obedience to God. We have a commandment to “go, and sin no more” and “...as He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:15, 16). If the Galatians stood in danger of falling from grace by their attempts to be justified by the law; which, after all, is merely their misguided efforts at being “good enough” to satisfy God’s demands for righteousness, how much more is the backslider who has returned to the former lusts fallen from grace?  James certainly makes it clear to his readers that “faith without works is dead”. We have a plain teaching by the apostle Paul that we are not saved by our works (Ephesians 2:8-9, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”), yet at the same time there are certain works that disqualify a person for entrance into the kingdom of God (Gal 5:19 - 21, “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revelings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”).  It is true that we do not have to get saved repeatedly because we may sin. However, it seems apparent that a believer can turn from his commitment, and find himself in worse condition than one who had never been saved: 2 Pt 2:20-21, “For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.”. The writer of Hebrews confirms that it is a serious offense for a believer to fall away: “For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put Him to an open shame.” (Hebrews 6:4 - 6), and “For if we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins. But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.” (He. 10:26, 27). The writer of Hebrews also taught that believers, in order to enjoy the promises, must hold on unto the end: “...whose house we are, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end.” (He. 3:6), and “For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast unto the end.” (He. 4:14). To the Colossians Paul wrote, “...to present you holy and unblamable and unreprovable in His sight: If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard...” (Colossians 1:22, 23). Paul testifies of his own personal fight of faith saying, “If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:11 - 14). It was Paul who commanded us in Philippians 2:12 to “...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” Of himself he said, “But I keep under my body and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway” (1 Co. 9:27). He reminded the Corinthians “Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand: By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.” (1 Co. 15:1, 2). Finally, in his letter to the Roman church, Paul speaking of Israel’s fall and the Gentiles acceptance said, “Behold, therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in His goodness: otherwise thou also shalt be cut off” (Romans 11:22). From the aforementioned scriptures we see that salvation is more a process that a concrete position. As we “work out our salvation” and “keep under our bodies”, we “reach forth to that which is before”, and “run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” We have this assurance, “He is able to keep that which we have committed to Him against that day.” I am eternally secure because as long as I choose to remain in Him “who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors...” (Romans 8:35, 37).

 

3. SALVATION: A GOAL FOR COMPLETION. At the close of his life the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:6 - 8, “For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love His appearing.” He speaks of salvation in future terms in Romans 8:24-25, “For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then we do with patience wait for it.”  I was saved in December of 1973, and have been working out my salvation ever since. Romans 13:11 encourages us to know that the day of our salvation is near, but not yet achieved - “And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.” Hebrews 4:1 warns us to make it all the way and not come short - “Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into His rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.” Is the believer doomed to a life of uncertainty about his salvation? Not at all. In Luke 10:20 Jesus told His disciples to “rejoice that your names are written in heaven”. That would be impossible to do if they did not know they were saved. Yet, at the same time, like the ten virgins in Mt. 25 we must not be careless about our salvation. When Jesus comes it will be the wise who have stayed filled with the Spirit (Eph. 5:18) that will enter into the Marriage Supper. The foolish whose lamps have gone out will not be invited in, but will hear these fateful words, “I know you not” (Mt. 25:12).

 

SUMMARY: Romans 10:13 “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That’s what the gospel is all about: to know that you know that you’re saved. But, the gospel message is that we are freed from sin, not free to sin. Work out your salvation. Look forward with confidence to laying hold of “the prize” someday. But, do understand that it matters how we live. Can we lose our salvation? It may be more accurate to say that we can turn from the way of salvation. It is actually a decision of our wills. God asks, “Why will ye die” Ezk 33:11? Ezekiel also wrote concerning the righteous man who turns from his righteousness: “But when the righteous turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and doeth according to all the abominations that the wicked man doeth, shall he live? All his righteousness that he hath done shall not be mentioned: in his trespass that he hath trespassed, and in his sin that he hath sinned, in them shall he die” (Ezk. 18:24). Don’t forfeit your salvation!