CAN CHRISTIANS DIVORCE?

 

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, AND REMARRIAGE         

 

INTRODUCTION:  Of all man’s institutions marriage must be classified as the most important.  Marriage is the foundation of the family.    Marriage has come under ever increasing assault in recent years.  Today, statistically speaking, only about half of all marriages in the United States will last.  Those who divorce and remarry are at even greater risk of suffering another marital failure.  The latest assault on marriage is the abomination of the successful attempts by some lawmakers to legalize the union of members of the same sex by permitting them to marry.  With marriage being demeaned as just a “piece of paper” by a large segment of the young adults of our culture, it is not surprising that the defense of marriage is an uphill fight.  Many of our fellow citizens will openly “live in sin” without any sense of shame.  Divorce, same sex unions, open marriages, and common law marriages have weakened the institution.  However, God’s word still states that marriage is the union of a man and a woman “until death do us part.”  It being God Who originated marriage, and commanded that the bonds of matrimony should not be dissolved by lesser authority than Himself, we do well to honor marriage; affording it the highest respect and sanctity:  Mt 19:6, “…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

 

1.  MARRIAGE. 

     A.  It’s origin.  It was God that ordained marriage in the beginning:  Genesis 2:18, 24-25 “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:  she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:  and they shall be one flesh.” 

      B.  It’s Purpose.  That marriage is intended as the union of one man and one woman is evident in these passages.  Jesus also endorsed marriage as the union of a man and a woman in Matthew 19:5-6.  

            (1)  Marriage unites.  No other institution so unites its participants as marriage.  Two people unite into one common set of goals:  ambitions, procreation, support, achievement, etc.    

      C.  It’s Spiritual Significance.  Since marriage was ordained by God it should not come as a surprise that His relationship with Israel, His chosen people, be symbolized by marriage in Ezekiel 16 (He compared Jerusalem to a newborn babe cast out of the womb to die in the open field.  But God having mercy upon her, took her up, cleansed, clothed, and adorned her.  As Jerusalem grew and matured into a beautiful “woman” He took her as His wife.  In keeping with the symbolism of marriage, when Jerusalem turned to idolatry, God likened her idolatry to adultery.), and that His church also be described in marital terms:  2 Corinthians 11:2, “…for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”;  Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it…”; Revelation 19:9, “…Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb…”; and Rev. 21:2, 9-10, “And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband…And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will show thee the bride, the Lamb’s wife.”  All the saints of God living in new Jerusalem make up the body of Christ, also known as the bride of the Lamb.

      D.   Biblical Teachings On Marriage.

             (1)  It is honorable:  Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:  but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

             (2)  It is to be desired:  Gen. 2:18, “…It is not good that man should be alone…”;  Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”;  1 Cor 7:2, 8-9 “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband…I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.  But, if they cannot contain (be chaste), let them marry:  for it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).”

             (3)  It is for life:  Romans 7:2, “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.”; and 1 Cor 7:39, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”

 

2. DIVORCE.  Jesus was presented with the question of divorce by the Pharisees in Mt 19:3:  “The Pharisees also came unto Him, tempting Him, and saying unto Him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”  Jesus knew that they were tempting Him in an effort to catch Him at His words.  He took them to the scriptures.  There are so many good causes for people to separate:  violence, lack of support, mental cruelty, criminal activity, financial irresponsibility, and the list goes on.  However, our sole and all inclusive rule of faith is the Bible.  Jesus took them to the Word:  Mt 19:4-9, “And He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife:  and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.  They say unto Him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives:  but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:  and whoso marrieth her which is put away (for fornication) doth commit adultery.”  Scripture says in Malachi 2:15-16, “…take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away…”  If God hates it, we should be very loathe to practice it!

       A.  Allowable Divorce.  

             (1)  Abuse, Crime, and Non-Support.  The law allows divorce because due to the hardness of men’s hearts there are problems of abuse, criminal activity, etc. that makes honoring the marriage vows difficult beyond human endurance.  Under normal circumstances the marriage covenant is not to be broken to allow one marriage partner to leave for a new mate.  Divorce under the aforementioned extreme circumstances shall be left to the conscience of the offended party.  However, remarriage may not be permissible under scriptural guidelines (see para 3, REMARRIAGE).

            (2)  Fornication (Mt 19:9)

            (3)  Desertion (1 Cor. 7:15, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.  A brother of a sister is not under bondage (the law of marriage) in such cases:  but God hath called us to peace.”)

        B.  Disallowable Divorce.

              (1)  Between Christians (1 Cor 7:10-11, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:  But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband:  and let not the husband put away his wife.”)  If a Christian family is fractured by a separation, reconciling or remaining unmarried are the only two recourses.

              (2)  Mixed Marriages.  Often a believer will either marry an unbeliever, or an unbelieving couple may experience the conversion of one or the other.  In such cases, if the unbeliever is pleased to remain with the believer, the believer, though at odds spiritually with his/her spouse shall not leave them.  Their sanctified lives may serve to win their unbelieving mate (1 Cor 7:12-14).

 

3.  REMARRIAGE.  Most people who divorce will remarry.  Is this the unpardonable sin?  Do they live in a continuous state of adultery?  No, to both questions.  But, the real question is:  is there true repentance if divorce and remarriage was premeditated?   Sin is present in every divorce.  One or both parties commit sin when divorcing.  Jesus, Himself, taught that it is permissible to divorce in the case of fornication.  So the offended party would not be sinning by divorcing the offender.  However, when is a divorcee free to remarry without the consequence of sin? 

      A.  Permissible remarriage.  Once free from the law of the marriage covenant by the act of fornication on the part of an offending spouse the innocent party is free to remarry (Mt 19:9a).  When abandoned by the other marriage partner (1 Cor. 7:15).  

      B.  Non permissible remarriage. However, in the case of the fornicator, anyone marrying them commits adultery (Mt 19:9b).  Working out our salvation in fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), let’s not tempt God by premeditating to sin, thinking that, afterwards, we shall make it right with God.  Only “godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation” (2 Cor. 7:10).  Having said that, if you, or someone you know, have been the guilty party in a divorce, and have remarried, you have not committed an unpardonable offense.  God will forgive the truly repentant.  

      C.  Marriage and Divorce Entanglements Prior to Salvation.  Honor the circumstances in which you find yourself:  1 Cor. 7:24, 27-28, “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God…Art thou bound unto a wife?  Seek not to be loosed.  Art thou loosed from a wife?  Seek not a wife.  But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned…”  New converts with unbelieving spouses should not divorce them.  New converts who are single because of a divorce prior to being saved are free to marry without committing sin (but only in the Lord; verse 39).

 

CONCLUSION:  Marriage requires lots of work, self-sacrifice, and patience.  Because it is a covenant between man, woman, and God, and is intended by God to last until death separates them, men and women must not think that divorce is an option.  God hates divorce.  However, if you have suffered the pain of divorce, God not only forgives, but He heals.  There are cases where remarriage is permissible.  If you have been blessed to find happiness in a second marriage – God bless you.